we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
This house was built for laser tag.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Randomize
