If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
