You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
she peed on how many people?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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