she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
