normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
