The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
