is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
