He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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