omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize