Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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