their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
