i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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