There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
he was CRYING into my vagina
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
