don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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