It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
