That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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