i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
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