I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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