we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
