I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
