You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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