Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
