wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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