well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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