That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
