i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
