The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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