What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Randomize