we're blogging at a bar
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize