K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
