I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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