I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Randomize