scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
