lets start a swedish sibling band together
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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