**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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