Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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