dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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