He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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