so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
