Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
