How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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