There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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