No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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