Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize