Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
