I hate your face
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
