I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
