You're so nebulous sometimes
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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