They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
