ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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