This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Who died my cat blue again?
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