i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
