i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I just want nice things and good sex
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize