he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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