haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize