i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
then he tried to convert me to islam
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
