I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
