Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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