He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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