people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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